Handy Tips

Weddings

  • Will you need seats – for some or all your guests?
  • What music do you want – bride’s arrival, signing of licences, end?
  • Table and chair for signing
  • Extras – release of butterflies, doves or helium balloons….lighting of candles

Download a New Zealand BDM 60 Wedding application.

Funerals

Over the years that I have been a celebrant it has become painfully obvious how ill-prepared families are when it comes to discussing the funeral arrangements for the person who has died. This can be because the deceased has not wanted to talk about death – or they, the families – have not wanted to listen….the end result is the same. Therefore when they talk with the funeral director and the celebrant, they are having to deal with the minutiae rather than being able to get on with their grieving. As a society we are pretty hopeless about our own mortality tend to hide from it whenever and wherever possible. This has the reverse effect, because the avoidance only exacerbates the fear.

Feel free to download a form which I have called Personal Funeral Wishlist for anyone who may find it useful.

As an aside…. In the 1920s the Finnish composer Sibelius would go to a restaurant in Helsinki and join other painters, industrialists, doctors and lawyers and the conversation was required to be about death. There is no reason to believe that this caused them to have a miserable time. Likewise a few decades earlier, in Paris, Flaubert, Zola and their compatriots would gather to discuss matter of death in an orderly and companionable way. Just accepting what must be.

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